What does that even mean?

I'm at the point right now, where I don't even know what anything means... and if anything meaningful has a meaning, because everything seems absolutely senseless. I think people just say the phrase 'time flies when you are having fun', as an excuse... because whether or not we accept it, time flies period. I've been pretty sick now for the past almost 6 months, and it seems just like yesterday I was having better days. Out of these 6 months, I don't think a day has been fun. Despite the fact that I have been sick, I have been horribly lonely. Refer back to my older posts of my husband going to bootcamp. It's almost like before everything gets better, it must get it's worst. Or maybe that's just what people say to make themselves sleep better at night.

On a lighter note, I got my doctors to release me for a few days on the 30th-4th, to go to South Carolina to visit my husband, and watch him graduate. By all of the letters he sends, I can tell he is enjoying it. I think deep down, the unknown of the military scares him, but the unknown of anything scares anyone really. From what he tells me, he is a very good gunman, and he has been picked as one of the top in his platoon & company. I don't really know how that works, but I know it's a good thing. I am pretty proud of him, seeing as the "old Nick" he left behind was kind of a couch potato, so all of this is quite a change. I love him so much, and I really think that going out there will be the best thing for him, and for myself. I think a transition will be good for me. I am so tired of seeing the same people, doing the same things, sitting in the same bed, receiving the same medicines, breathing the same air. It's controversial whether or not this will be good for my health, but I know my doctor wouldn't let me go if it wasn't. Well, he wouldn't let me go unless it was AMA. Which I probably wouldn't do. I am not that bad off. I just can't believe he is almost done already, it feels just like yesterday I was crying about him leaving in a week.

I don't know where life will take me after that week. I know he will be going to Virginia, and then I will probably stay here until I get better. I want to move with him so bad, but we really wont find out anything until he gets where he's going. Some say I can move, some say I can't. I think him and I both are on the same page where my health is concerned. I need to stay here until I am well enough to handle a move. And this would be a very big move. I am so tired of moving though, I mean I moved at least 5 times last year. I am too tired to even want to count, but 5 at the least.

I am pretty tired now, so I think I am going to go. Sorry for the lack of posts. I don't think many people read this anyways.


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