Tis the season, to be in a bad mood.

You know, I really don't care that much for the holidays. Maybe Thanksgiving... but that's probably it, only because I can eat and whenever someone at the dinner table feels like they need to say something I don't really care about, I can just shovel some more food in my mouth - good excuse not to talk.

Thanksgiving came and went already, and now is Christmas' turn. While I lived with my mom, we barely got the Christmas tree up on time. It was horrible. My mom has never been much of a holiday person. You could drive by our house and never feel the holiday spirit... I only remember putting lights up one year, and then leaving them up all year-round, just so my ex-step dad didn't have to do it again the following year. Shouldn't doing things like that be fun? Isn't that what gets you into the 'sprit' of Christmas? Or whatever holiday you celebrate? Putting the tree up has always been a nightmare - for me. I don't know how my brother and sister feel about it. My mom always has to have her tree look the same way every freaking year and it's pretty annoying. The kids should be able to put the ornaments where they want, and leave them there. That's what makes the tree. It's not supposed to look picture perfect unless you are a interior designer that absolutely detests the thought of even having children. *sigh*. Not to mention putting the tree up is honestly the death of me... it always turns into a mini-family fight every year. I did not participate in the tree decoration at my moms last year, and I won't be this year, just because I am finally out on my own. When I did live with my mom, the last few years I found it easiest to just come out of my room, put 3 or 4 ornaments up, and go back into my room, with HOPE that no one would want to pick a fight with me.

Since I grew up like this, I find it hard to get into the spirit of Christmas. Last year was Nick and I's first Christmas, and I'll admit, it was really hard for me to get my ass up and help put the tree up. But I can blame a lot of it on being sick, because I was tied up to IV's for a good 6 months, December falling into that net. Once I got up and started helping, it was actually fun, and since we don't have kids and things like that, we were able to make our tree pretty decent looking. I don't think I will be putting up my tree this year for a few reasons - 1. I don't feel like dragging the box out, putting the tree together, and cluttering my livingroom even more than it is, considering there really is no room for a Christmas tree in here. 2. I find it extremely depressing sick Nick isn't here, to even be decorating at all.... call me a humbug if you want, but it's how I feel, and I can't change that. 3. I am moving before Christmas, and hopefully having everything out by the 15th... which would leave me another thing to take down, put away, and so on and so fourth.... MAYBE I will put it up at the new apartment, maybe. It's so funny because I really pushed off putting the tree up last year, and poor Nick would beg me every evening... but now I would give nothing but to put the damn tree up with him. I hope next year is different.

And (they say to never start a sentence off with "and", but I do not care haha) to end this weird, depressing of a post... i'd like to present our Christmas tree from last year :) (side note: it's from a cellphone picture, not the greatest quality!)



DISCLAIMER: No my family does not fight all the time and we have a relatively decent relationship with each other, I just find this is how MY life is behind MY eyes during Christmas time. We are like any other family who loves, fights, and cares for each other. Please don't think otherwise just because of this post.

1 Response to "Tis the season, to be in a bad mood."

  1. staaceeey says:

    Christmas is truly a holiday where you wish for that love and joyous family time (at least, I do) and it rarely ever pans out that way... so you're not alone. At least you've still got the hope of Christmas in your heart and haven't completely given up. Thankfully, next year will be different for you and something to look forward to :)

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