I love my soldier.

Well, i'm back out of the hospital, yet again. This was a relatively short stay for me- 10 days. I'm back at my moms house, in BFE, of course. No cell reception, hughes.net and TV (which we all know, if we know me well enough, that I detest TV). But at least I am here with family, i'm not alone, and I have some home cooked meals. I think that's what all of us CFers really look forward to when we get home to family, home cooked meals, and the comfort of our own beds... although i'm not in my 'own' bed, the spare bed will suffice. I'm on IV's for 10 days, or should I say, "IV" because i'm only on 1, doripenem, if any of you cared :). After i'm done i'll probably go home 3 or 4 days later, being it a 2 week stay at da mamas.

Right now I am just trying to be one with my emotions, dealing with Nicks deployment coming up in October. We've been away from each other for 8 months now, so you would think it would be a piece of cake, but not really. I was led to believe (or more so made myself believe- big mistake) that I would be living with my husband on base after bootcamp and school/training. Boy was I wrong. So here I am thinking that I would be living happily in the next few months with my love, and then BAM, "I have bad news". Now I will go another 12 months (if everything goes smoothly) without seeing my husband. Instead of him being the three thousand miles away, he is going to be about 3x farther. It's not the distance, nor the time really that gets me... It's just the place he's going, Bagram, Afghanistan. It makes me mad just typing the location. Obviously I have never been there, but from what i've seen (from google), it's not pretty, and it looks unsanitary, and just over-all disgusting. The fact that communication is tough to come by, and mailing to a different country takes about a thousand years, really gets me down too. I wish I could just tell him I love him every night. I don't even need a reply back, I know he loves me and I don't need to question that, I can look at the stars every night and the way they wink at me is a sure sign from God that he is OK and that he loves me just as much as the day we got married, if not even more. And I know that he knows the same exact thing. A text, an e-mail, or a phone call. As of right now we really don't know the 411 on having computers there, but if he can, he will definitely be getting one sooner or later. If you ask if I am scared of him getting hurt, the answer is yes, of course I am. I have the biggest feeling in my heart and soul that he will be okay and he is in Gods hands. He is a helicopter mechanic, so he won't exactly be at battle... but I know their are always the chances of them attacking the base, or location or what have you. I just pray that God will watch over my husband, and bring him home safely, and that when he looks up at the beautiful stars at night, he knows that I will be looking at those same stars, and it will make us feel closer.

I am closing in at an end now, I am pretty exhausted being it my first day out of the hospital. I will write more later :) Take care my loves.

Love always,

1 Response to "I love my soldier."

  1. This is so sad love, I don't know how you do it!! I wouldn't be able to function! You are so strong! xxxx

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